BFF

GIRLS IN MY CIRCLE

When I was little, I used to believe in the concept of one best friend, and then I started to become a woman.

And then I found out that if you allow your heart to open up, God would show you the best in many friends.

One friend is needed when you're going through things with your man.

Another friend is needed when you're going through things with your mom.

Another will sit beside you in the bleachers as you delight in your children and their activities.

Another when you want to shop, share, heal, hurt, joke, or just be.

One friend will say,'Let's cry together,' another, 'Let's fight together,' another, 'Let's walk away together.'

One friend will meet your spiritual need, another your shoe fetish, another your love for movies, another will be with you in your season of confusion, another will be your clarifier, another the wind beneath your wings.

But whatever their assignment in your life, on whatever the occasion, on whatever the day, or wherever you need them to meet you with their gym shoes on and hair pulled back, or to hold you back from making a complete fool of yourself... those are your best friends.

It may all be wrapped up in one woman, but for many, it's wrapped up in several..

one from 7th grade,

one from high school,

several from the college years,

a couple from old jobs,

on some days your mother,

on some days your neighbor,

on others, your sisters,

and on some days, your daughters.

So whether they've been your friend for 20 minutes or 20years,

Let us celebrate the women in our lives..

Sex and Sexuality!

How do you define your sex?

In this day and age, it's more likely how much of it you're getting, if you're getting any or how good it is or was.

Sex is a beautiful thing and since we are all adults, permit me to dive into this delicate yet sensual matter.

Let's talk about sex!

How do you decide, if sex will play an important role in any man/ woman liasion you get into?.

Guys let me just say at this junction, that a chick knows if she's going to shag you, either now or in the near future, after spending all of 5 seconds in your company.

we have that extra sensor, we smell shaggable guys with a radar embedded somewhere in our consciousness.

Then, the million dollar question becomes, what is the next level, wetin dey..?

You've made up your mind to go with dude, he aight!! Good looking, caramel color, hazel, brown or reddish eyes depends on how much he puffs.

Six packs or a little chubby, maybe even scrawny or tiny, hey it's your choice. Tall, short, medium, dwarfish your call.To each his own, this heart is not that smart.

He might be packing in all the right places though, (pepper and down below) and be all of 3 ft 2 inches.

He might be 93 yrs old on life support. Classic case, Anna Nicole of blessed memory. In this instance, unless you are willing to send old boy to his grave that minute and cash your cheques. Don't do it!

A lot of times, the reasons we do a lot of things in life starts to get really confusing. If your intention is to get with a guy to get something, anything at all. Permit me to ask what if that exchange doesn't happen.

Well you get to have sex, possibly a "menage a tois" as is the case these days.

I digress,People!, we have become extremely sexual and adventurous in Nigeria. I was at a club on awolowo road a few weeks ago, oh boy!

These girls turned an architectural piece in the VIP area into a stripper pole. To the viewing pleasure of drooling guys gathered in the area, come and see show

I watched oh, I got a little worried when two of the girls started kissing and touching themselves. Believe me, this place is not a stripper joint, atleast that is not what the sign said outside.

See guys salivating, one particular girl who in my calculation couldn't be more than 22 was especially good. Chick had moves that'll put porn stars to shame! She backed that thing up, dropped it like it's hot and wobbled.

I don't swing that way for no reason at all, strictly dickly here, but that girl had me wandering hmmm! Maybe, just maybe....

I'm back, please pardon my wandering mind, but my thing is this! When there's a banter over sex, when it's exchanged for goods and services then in every dictionary and even contemporary wikipedia, it is defined as prostitution, in other not so plain english- pololo, shalamunta, ashi (code for ashewo) runs associate, trick, ho,karuwa, akwuna..I can go on and on.

This is an age old trade and it is very legal in most countries of the world. Prostitutes pay tax in european countries and even in God's own country, well to an extent.

We can't hold on to trivialities now and this is not a place for name calling, I'm just saying it like it is.

I myself have done some things in my past I'm very ashamed of.

I didn't have to stand by the roadside, but I have gotten in liasions in the past just thinking about me, not necessarily considering the other party's feelings.

I wanted something and as soon as I got it, I was out the door, thereby hurting a lot of folks and myself, but reality bit me in the a$$ recently and I started reminiscing about "ish".

Women get to that age, it could at15 for some or 60 for others. You get to that crossroad and start to question yourself, have I misplaced my priorities in matters of the heart and sex?

What was the primary purpose for me, was it an exchange "programme"or was I sampling for the fun?.

Relationships are consumated for various purposes, either out of curiosity or because there are genuine feelings and a connection. For whatever purpose we have sex, be it as a married couple,or in a serious relationship (I do not use that word 'serious' loosely) Aids is real!

Let us define the purpose carefully, we live in an age that diseases and death makes sex almost unpleasurable. Let's keep it safe and beautiful.

If I ever do it again... ....I'll fill in the blanks later.

Remorsefully yours,

2 cents

Are women their "own" worst enemy?

I saw this question on Ijeoma's blog,I really want to tackle this one....

From time immemorial, this question has plaqued women. For various reasons we have fought for the identity we deserve. By the way, we are also expected to completely shut down our opinion of each other,more for security reasons cause most of the time it's very unsavory.

Why can't we say sumthin 'bout that muffin round sista who shouldn't be in a tank top but she is?
Or better still,Why can't you confront that heifer who's shamelessly flirting with your man in the club,specially since she knows you're there together?.

The truth is we are quick tempered and judgemental. We are also very egregious. Don't hiss yet. But there are a lot of subtle issues that come to mind with this question and I will try my best to answer most of them.

Once again,Why are we each other's worst enemies? Good question!

* You don't have to befriend every woman you come across, same reason you can't do a lot of things in life, they are either forbidden or just wrong.

* In the workplace for instance, that woman of the same ethnicity will be first to rat you out in the event you step out of line, easy! she wants what's yours.

Classic example, I took a job once because there were a lot black women there, big mistake!
I was reprimanded for things I did or didn't do.My boss,who unfortunately is an older African American woman, thought I dressed "too provocatively" to be taken serious in the type of business we did, BS!. I left that job, ( best believe, any day I run into that old witch, it's on!).

The moral here is that I thought I was secure within my own people, now I know better.

* Women try to displace each other, our competitive side wants that edge over the next female. For one, if they catch the eye of a good looking man, who for any reason reciprocates that glance, she finds out he's seeing someone else ( well most importantly if he's straight).Some chicks will shake dude down, till he rescinds his former flame and shags that female or wifes her.
I have even seen females try really hard I might add, to straighten very gay guys. So not worth it!

* Word of advice, if he's married or with another woman, please get to stepping, being a jump off at any age is just tacky.

* I've met a few women who think the whole universe revolves around them.( funny someone accused me of this, I beg to differ sha lol!). But on the real, some chicks are sheisty like that, you must conform to their level or all hell is let loose.Aside from their very low self esteem issues, you have to babysit them and if your loyalty is in question for a second at the most they flip, heifer please!!!

* Another set of females are the ones that think they are better than everyone else, classist and very set in their ways. Worse if they are born into money or married "old" money. The blue bloods I understand their "ako". But chicks who marry old money need not front, cause on the real, when they fall, it's usually flat on their face,without a forwarding address.

* On the political scene and in business, we play just as dirty as any man. The only difference here is we shag for very real reasons. Ladies don't play yourselves,! please get paid or secure that corner office before you give it up, these men are wiser now. They get theirs, you better get yours!.

* And yes, we fight over men! We really do, you might not be walking around with a razor, looking over your shoulders or stalking your boyfriend or ex- boyfriend's new flame. it might be more subtle. Ladies, most of us are guilty of this "ish". You know you've read his text messages, seen the pictures on his myspace account, checked his email, called his mama, called the new girl with a blocked number and drop the phone as soon as she picks up, or called his boys to beef.

Per adventure, you meet the "new" girl in the club, mall or a house party. You have the usual look over. Check her out, see what she's working with. if it ain't much, sigh! yawn, hiss and high five your girls.

But if the new chick comes in the club tight! OH HELL NO! You get all sweaty and break out in hives, remember all the terrible things dude did to you. Start to cuss and even cry. Woe betides this chick, if tight as she is, steps to you and spews ish!

Conversation could go something like this:

New chick: Hi, I know you!

You: I'm sure you do!

New chick: Just so you know, Eric has only good things to say about you..

You: Oh really! ( But you're really thinking, this b**tch has exactly 3 seconds to get outta my face, or I'm b**ch slapping her into christmas)

New chick: Nice dress by the way, are you having fun??

"No she didn't" ! Yes she did!!!

You: At this junction,it depends on how much of a hoodrat you are, typically, she should be getting her weave pulled out and her face scratched. But, if there's any element of class in you,this is when you bid her good night, count your losses and go home to a tub of Ice cream and your remote controlled T.V or whatever gadget consoles you.

It is what it is girls! We are what we are, but we can let go of a lot of vices when it has to do with our fellow women.No one is perfect and we are all a work in progress. That chick you're beefing with for any reason could turn around to become an important fixture in your life. Or atleast let's beef reasonably,no face scratching please...Plastic surgery does not fix everything, let's keep it sexyyyy aight!!



As always,

My 2 cents...

This blogging sef!

I know it's a little too early to throw in the towel or b**ch about blogging since I just got here, but do I even have any reasons to complain?.

It's been a few weeks and I am already a self proclaimed blog whore. I am hitting up blogs, leaving comments and ish!, replying and even seeking out blogs that doesn't exist. This is not a fad for me, it's serious business.

A few people I know will swear that it can't be me. where does she find the time?.How do you combine a full time job, responsibilities at home, building your own business and now blogging!!!!

Hello! I multitask, I have to. If you live in a crazy city like I do, you need triathlette abilities and therapy of some sort to survive. I have seen a shrink before, thanks to insurance hard earned cash gone to waste. I tell you what is therapeutic, BLOGGING!

My alter ego 2 cents is very prudish, she's in your face, calm and calculative, she's giving advise and admonishing, well that's not me!

That person is not me at all! I'm not that together or calculated, I don't care for people's opinion. I have my eyes on the ish and I gets it!( Let me borrow from my beloved chicken heads).

With a health condition, my parents wanted me to go to boarding house near them, well I emancipated myself at a very young age and went ahead to one very far from them, trying to prove, I could tough it out all by my damn self. That was one of the best decisions I ever made. It changed my entire life and outlook!!

I digress but I'm back, my point is that I happened on a blog while whiling away time on a really boring conference call, read a few more links, finished that call and read some more and by that evening I was hooked. This was months ago, even then I figured, just read and move on and then something really personal prompted a change in my pace.

I needed a sounding board, really do right now in my life. So one day, I sat there at work and looked at myself, I didn't like what I had become. I had started smoking again and had become really edgy, the few times my life had taken those turns, I didn't like myself at all. Had to take matters in my own hands. So, I got on that laptop and "found" myself.

I'm typing away like my life depends on it, I felt a sense of relief, at work I'm putting clients on hold to blog, I get home and instead of getting a meal, I get to blogging..

I read some blogs and become introspective, I read some and shed a tear. I read fineboy's blog and laugh so hard I have to catch myself, that boy is a trip!. I learn from blogging, I catch my mistakes and check myself. I have even made some blog pals in this few weeks too lol!.

Will I throw in the towel now? Naaahhh! Don't intend to, I've always loved to write, it might not necessarily entertain but as long as I get the reader interested in my point of view. That's aight! I am not about games with this thing, I am about a movement of the consciousness of the soul.

If my argument interests you, please by all means say something, encourage me, drop a comment or just send a shoutout to your baby mama or your homeboy. They might just be here checking out my blog..

Converations on a subway ride!!

I really don't like to sound like I am preaching every damn time, but I really need to share this.

As socially and might I add fachionably conscious as I want to be on my blog, I also want to call attention to all miscreant behaviors that devalue us as black people.

I ride the subways to and from work, and truth be told I encounter all sorts of ish, I have met crazies and weirdos, but nothing beats this conversations I'm about to share with y'all.

One day, I happened to have to leave work early ro run some peronal errands, it was about the same time middle and high school let out, and I swear what I'm about to tell you is a true story:

Cut to Scene 1:

Shantrell and deanvitta get on one stop and this is the conversation between them, I was not eavesdropping as they were right in my face!

Shantrell: Did you see that n***a shane, son just got paid, heard he got a summer job!
Deanvitta: word!

Shantrell: word to his m****f***ing mama, I'm checking him real hard now, he tried to holla at me last week, I was like n**ga, hell to the N to the No!, but then I heard from my cousin juan he just got a job, so I ma holla at him, sway that n**ga to the side, give him a taste what!!

Deanvitta: you a trick!

Shantrell: my mama's a trick, b**ch, I'm a ho, I gets paid!!

And both of them Lawl!lawl!lawl!

These heifers cannot be more than 13 years old. When did it become fashionable to declare yourself a whore and your mother a trick?

Next scenario sadly is not any less distasteful.

Mama trey and trey got into an argument, as they enter the subway car. Voices got raised and we all had no choice but to listen to the foolishness called a conversation between mother son:

Mama trey: N***ga I aint gon tell you one more time, next time I see that bi**ch devonne in my house, I'm cutting her!!

Trey: You ain't gonna do nothing like that, ma I keep telling you she my baby mama and I loohe her!

Mama trey: Fool you know that child ain't yours!. I don told you, I know all my grandbabies and that lil ni**a ain't yours, devonne's hot ass been around the block more times than a ride at six flags!

(Note that voices are raised now and everyone in this subway car is bewildered as to what will compel anyone at all to put their business out on the streets, more like on the subway. Mama trey who can't be anything less than 50 yrs old and about 300 pounds, is huffing and puffing, out of breath and obviously very pissed off!

Trey: Ma, I suggest you show some respect to my gurl, I aint said nuthin bout dem crackheads that be coming by the house.

Mama trey: Atleast dem crackheads got cheddar! You aint about nuthin trey, nuthin! They pay the rent, you lay up in that house all day doing nuthin but bring all these tricks in my house, eat up all my food, and have all these damn babies.

Trey: Ma, why you gotta talk about my babies, you know I'll die for my kids, I loohe my kids.

Mama: trey, you know sometimes I wonder about you, I really wish I'd done right by you. Your sister aint turned out better than you, she's caught up in the streets, your brother's been in jail since God knows when, and you probably are more f**ked up in the head than any n**ga I know.

Trey: how you gon put all our bidness out here on the train, I aint even gon say nuthin, just go on yak on like you always do, always talking shit bout stuff!

Mama trey: I'm talking shit trey, why don't I talk shit to your parole officer when he come by the house. Why don't I tell that n**ga how you still running round with them niggas round the way, selling crack on the block.

Trey: ma!

Mama trey: ma what m***f**ka, what! You got sumthin to say trey, I don't hear you now, didn't think you gonna say nuthin thriflying m***f**ka, b**ch ass punk!

Trey: I hope you happy now!

Mama trey: yeah as long as you not in my space I'm happy! Can't wait to get my stop, all this damn m***af**cka looking at me like they got shit to say to me.. Why people can't mind they own bizness! Dang!

At this point, everyone just prayed to get to their stop and get off safely. I got off the train that day with a heaviness in my heart nontheless.

Our wives have gone crazy!

I wanted to post a poem today, but thought against it after all the disturbing news I heard over the weekend.

My brother called me yesterday to tell me that my cousin's wife has been sent packing. They just got married a year ago!

They got into something, she stormed out the house, came back a day later and he locked her out, she yelled insults at him through the window and when he didn't answer,she packed a fist full of sand, went to the bedroom window and threw it at him!

Now in igboland, you only pour sand on your husband when he is lying six feet under, as a corpse. He is dead to her as it is and the marriage has to be dissolved under the traditions she was married in, I didn't even know all these.
Anyways she has been sent packing unless "Umunna" says otherwise and right now they are not saying anything at all except that she's got to go!

Come to find out another, young couple that got married in my church and moved to Houston a year and a half ago just got divorced too.
I ran into the groom's friend and enquired about them, he just laughed and said they divorced last year already, I was like you have got to be kidding me!
They had their challenges as a young couple but In a fit of anger, the wife called the cops on her husband and lied that he hit her, he was thrown in a jail and charged with a felony, this can potentially have all his banking licenses revoked, but she didn't care, now he's filed for divorce and she's left with two young kids, he claims the last one is not his, so go figure!

The last case scenario is the most troubling, I was at this wedding reception for a prominent army general's daughter, you should have seen this wedding! it was off the chain, name it the works!. The family went all out, fast forward a year later, this girl got into a drug habit and will come home and beat the daylight out of her poor husband, dude hightailed out of there faster than you can say dan chocho!.

Ladies, I say all this to say that, marriage is not a thing of sympathy or force, you can't get married cause everyone else is doing it, you must acquire a lot of patience and perseverance. Our mothers have been in it for ages and trust me most of their husbands are not saints. As we acquire degrees and diplomas, let us also learn the virtue of a godly woman who goes on her knees to solve problems instead of beating up the husband or calling the cops.

I have never been married but I am learning to consult the bible for answers to questions I have, and also learning from the mistakes of others.



My 2 cents...

Fashion Architect Gianfranco Ferre' Dies at 62!!

Formally trained as an architect, northern Italian native Gianfranco Ferré treats fashion design the same way one might approach the design of a building: with meticulous attention to form, structure, and balance.

After traveling to India in the early '70s, Ferré dove into fashion, first with accessories, and later, launching his own label, Baila, in 1974. Signature women's and men's collections soon followed, and Ferré stepped onto the field of high fashion with the debut of his couture line in 1986.

He took his philosophy to the house of Christian Dior, where he was stylistic director from 1989 to 1997. Still influenced by his first trips to Asia, Ferré's designs display an East-meets-West aesthetic that vehemently rejects trends and gimmicks, concentrating instead on a relaxed sophistication and casual elegance.

Mr Ferre' died yesterday after suffering a massive brain hemorrhage, hospital sources say.

Happy father's day!!!!

As we celebrate father's day, a thot about my father and fatherhood:

Sunday is father's day and I am especially happy to be spending that day with my dad. My father is one of the bestest men in the world ever! He is a wonderful man, father, brother,husband, friend and confidante.

I'm the woman I am today because of the relationship I have with my pops!.

From birth he always rooted for me, he is my biggest cheerleader, When family members thought as a girl he should stop investing in me by paying for expensive private schools, and groom me to get married early 'archaic igbo myth and culture', he did otherwise and opened a trust fund instead in my name to pay my tuition regardless, incase if anything happened to him and no one agreed to pay my school fees.

He sat by my bedside and cried, when I Had surgery for appendicitis and didn't wake up hours later , he thought I had died, I was just enjoying the high of the drugs.

He didn't give up on me when I was intubated for a bad case of asthma and was declared dead, he picked me up and shook me out of the coma, while my mum told them to arrange for a burial, that she had 6 other kids and won't run mad over one sickly child ( still remember every word of that statement even though I was all of 9 years old! Parents be careful the choice of words you speak on your kids) I still have issues with my mum till date over that day!

In all, my father has been my rock, he got me into writing poetry at an early age, on every trip abroad while growing up, my dad would buy everyone else toys and buy me books on poetry. And when I decided to opt out of writing and the dream of going to law school and veer into banking, he still gave me the go ahead with his blessings.

I am balanced today as a woman because I have the love of my father, no matter what I have been through with men, I hold on to the fact that there are men like my father out there, men who are secure in their manhood and given to family and serving God.

As we celebrate father's day this year, I am moved to say a prayer for men out there, who abandoned their children either because they can or cannot afford to care for them. Sometimes the only thing a child remembers Is the smile on your face, when they try to pedal a trainer bicycle and fall, or both of you holding hands or praying together at night.

Let us not always quantify the love of a child with money. Children are gifts from God and believe me when I tell you that the good lord takes care of his own. He never gives us what we can not carry. For that woman who is struggling with those children, I implore you to hold on to the lord who neither sleeps me nor slumbers. He will wipe those tear from your eyes. You will reap the fruits of your labor. There will be ex husbands, Ex wifes, ex boyfriends , ex girlfriends and even ex friends but there are no ex children.

I pray to God to turn the hearts of men back to their children, the bible says that a wise man leaves an inheritance for his children's children. Let us use wisdom in the things of this world and remeber that our time here is borrowed, from dust we came and to dust we shall all return. What will posterity remember you for? A good man who loved and left an inheritance for generations after him or for the shameless twerp who had various baby mamas and didn't mean a damn thing to his numerous children who never met him.

I'm just saying fellas if the shoe fits then check yourself for real, get your ish together, you might just save a child's life, you never know!

As always, my 2 cents!

C'est moi...

"I was born with great legs", We hear that sista!

The love for all things Guiseppie,dolce, Jimmy choos et all!

Ladies, permit to say that no outfit is complete without these beauties this summer.

No disrespect to chicks who rock flats and ballet shoes. I'm just saying....

I am a couveisor of shoes, being one of my vices.

I really should consider a side hustle in styling. what do you think of these selections? Like the Mcdonald jingle, I'm loving it..

My Crackberry!

I am dedicating this post to my crackberry..

My crackberry has haunted my life for the past two years. As much as I love this gadget, I have become a fiend and cannot go a minute without a quick fix.

I have been to therapy, had deliverance and was taken to Barbeach for prayers with the "wholi" to no avail.

I want to give up this habit so bad but for reasons that my paycheck is tied to it, I cannot.

I sleep with it, eat with it, drink with it, can't socialize or date as I am constantly looking at it and pissing people off, my whole existence revolves around my crackberry.

what to do? I have asked myself numerous times..But my crackberry just stares at me and like Raspiutta in "Norbit" asks..How're u doing?

Love these dresses, a must have for fall 07!

Don't know what Kelly Clarkson was thinking trying to rock this Monique Luillhier piece. Rihanna is a beauty in both numbers.

Polka dots are replacing florals this fall. Sublte shades are still in and J.lo and Jennifer Aniston has my vote on their worst days....

Let us Pray for these souls..

Okay I am moved to seek help for these ladies, lest they take the path that ladies before them have gone and end up six feet under. But before then I'll like to offer my 2 cents....

Nicole Richie needs to eat something before she breaks in two.

Paris Hilton needs someone to slap the daylight out of her, buy her some damn sense!.

Lindsay Lohan needs a timeout not rehab, and her mother needs some growing up to do herself, I find it hard to comprehend who the adult is here.

The olsen twins should please send their clothes to the drycleaners and take a bath, brush their hair do something,..dang!!!

I notice am!

So I just got back from naija and let me just say, we need deliverance in that country.
From everything that plaque us and the recycled demons that call themselves our leaders.
It has gotten so bad that people have devised every means necessary to make money, to eat I hope.

I was sitting in traffic, well to travel between the mainland and the island, you need atleast 5 hours alone for this commute back and forth that should normally take about 40 mins.
On the their mainland bridge trying to navigate kingsway road in Ikoyi, I noticed a woman standing on the road begging, she had an iodine covered plaster on her left breast, this is significant of anyone who has lost a breast to cancer.

Her son was approaching vehicles begging for money for his mom to get medicines to survive.
I was almost moved to tears and as I reached for my bag to get money, my brother who was driving had this look on his face like what the feck do you think you are doing?

Me: I wan give that woman money, can't you see she lost a breast to cancer
Bros: lol! u wan give the woman money because dem cut off her breast?
Me: Yes now! why una wicked for this country, that woman is dying!
Bros: Ehen.. she is dying! Okay I go pack this moto now go tear that plaster from her chest so you go see say na fake. which kain cancer, person wey dey find money to take invest for her agege bread business abegi!
Me: I am really disappointed in you, how can you be so hardhearted, so if I allow you u go tear plasteR comot for woman breast.
Bros:Just gree me clear pack this moto see whether I no go display craze for that woman wey dey hustle people like una, Listen na we live here, we know all these tricks, yahoo business no be only for business center, e don enter different levels now. People dey do am from aso rock, go reach akowonjo, whichever one wey meet your standard na im you go follow. check am now, how them go cut your breast comot, you no get medicine drink ,yet you fit stand for lagos sun morning till night, day in day out and you never die. Sista abeg shemu. if the money plenty for your hand settle boys make we shayo this evening.
Me: (Mouth still ajar) so you mean people can fake disease just to beg for money.
Bros: No lele.. this is Lagos! We notice am..

Dude hit me up for 3k!!

This is a true story..

I attended a networking function for young Nigerian professionals, kind of a monthly thingy.I had never been to one before, but a friend dragged me there, said I should get out and meet people.

I was actually starting to enjoy myself and make the rounds, meeting and greeting and exchanging business cards. I noticed dude scoping me out and all, and checked him out too. He looked alright, tall and quite cute. He accosted me on the way back from the bathroom and used the typical played out line" Has anyone ever told you you had a pretty smile, you are the most beautiful woman in this room. Turn around (he proceeds to actually spin me around) and tell me if anyone in here is as beautiful as you are..

I thanked him for the kind words and he was actually funny, we talked a bit, gave him my card and he proceeded to comment on what I was wearing. He loved the Big faced gucci watch I was wearing, said he saw that from far and he was also sure I got my shirt from London. ( He was right as it was a Hawes and Curtis) What I found odd was the money value he put on all my apparel.

I left the gathering early, since I didn't bring my car and do not like to ride the subways late at night. He had called me a few times before I made it home. We talked, he wanted me to be his girlfriend, I told him I wasn't dating at the moment but will catch a movie or grab a meal, (BIG MISTAKE)!!! nothing wrong with making new friends.

He picked me up the next weekend for a movie, found out I owned my own home and checked out my ride.
Movie was okay, we talked a bit, he seemed okay, a bit on the needy side been a last child in a huge family. I thought, this should be his mother's headache not mine. While talking one other time, I mentioned I was going to Naija for my vacation, he asked if I would buy him a ticket to go with me, I chose to ignore that.

Fast forward to two weeks later, dude is burning up my blackberry, texting, calling and being all sweet, said he wanted to see me. I had to make a quick business trip to Europe, he asked what I'll buy him, I told him I'll see when I get there.
I usually shop anytime I get the opportunity to travel on business and I'm the type to pick things up for friends and family. But before I left on my trip, he wanted to see me, said he had something important to discuss with me.

I told him when I could see him, he caught an attitude and said it had to be earlier, he had started to get comfortable as you can see, but no one would believe the shock I got when this goat actually got in my face and outright asked me for $3000!! Said he had some problems and needed that to take care of it.

To say I was pissed is an understatement, mind you this fool is older than I am, maybe I'm a little better off, but he has a JOB!! I asked what he need it for, he told me I was invading his privacy, that was it. I told him he had to get the stepping.

He was actually upset at me for not agreeing to give him the money, said if he couldn't ask the person "he's with" who can he ask, I reminded him we were not together. He begged to differ.
The next week, he sent me a text requesting for the money again said he was in " dire need"! I had to tell him to please lose my numbers and get a life!

The moral of this story is that a lot of naija guys are either turning gigolo or just plain shameless. who in their right mind will ask a young woman, you barely just met for all this money.
who does that! I was initially upset and now all I have have for that gentleman is pity. He needs help,people like that will sell their soul for the right price. Money is not everything, will never be. The quest for it and the way people go about it is just plain sad.

To dude, get a life, or better still, look for your mother's age mates, I am sure they'll be happy to fund your stupidity and idiotic lifestly.

I'm out!

C'est moi....

The world does not revolve around me!

Let me just say I love blogging! whew!! it's almost as addictive as my crackberry.

it beats looking for a decent soul to talk to. Humans are sheisty and are likely to use your innermost secrets against you. Back to my header,Someone said this to me today, it didn't hurt my feelings because I was insensitive to whatever this individual was dealing with, but it made me realise a lot about friendship.

I pride myself in being that friend that will go the nine yards, I offer help when I need help myself. I rememeber a certain circumstance where I was critically ill, yetI logged bags and bags of luggage with wedding favors to be shipped to Nigeria. I offered to do this and a lot more to the tune of $6000 in credit card debt, which I'm still struggling to pay off.

What did I get in return, this so called friend sold me out and betrayed me, she stabbed me in the back and is still asking me for favors till date.

Back to this dear friend who is dealing with "ish". I hold no grudges and I have moved ahead of the anger of knowing I was lied to and betrayed" under the disguise of his insecurity. I was being me, will always be me.

I do have this to say thougth,I might not have hair flowing down my back, might not be all light skinned and all, but I have a genuine heart and the desire to give of myself and love selflessly.

7 things you don"t know about me.

Just saw this on london Bukky's blog, tapping again as I should.

Here it goes:

1. I can't swim to save my life.

2. I can't stand people who lack the ability to comprehend.

3. I don't wear flats, walk funny in them.

4. I can't sing.

5. I hardly smile, but laugh a lot.

6. I refuse to be disrespected by anyone, anyone at all.

7. I make a mean pasta...

Meme

I wasn't tagged or anything, just got this off someone's blog and since, I am in a writing mood today "joy". I decided to do it, glad I did actually. It kind of tells where my head is at (excuse my english).

1. Yourself: Me
2. Your partner: ?
3. Your hair: kelis hair cut, with java highlights
4. Your mother: Drama
5. Your father: Calm
6. Your favorite item: Shoes
7. Your dream last night: None
8. Your favorite drink: Cold water
9. Your dream car: Mercedez CLS 500
10. The room you are in: Office
11. Your ex: Ex
12. Your fear: Being alone
13. What you want to be in 10 years: Happy
14. Who you hung out with last night: Bunch of Kids
15. What you're not: Perfect
16. Muffins: Alright
17: One of your wish list items: A Balenciaga Ostrich red bag...
18: Time: Afternoon
19. The last thing you did: Work
20. What you are wearing: Clothes
21. Your favorite weather: Rain
22. Your favorite book: Numerous
23. The last thing you ate: Moimoi and Fried fish.. Believe me..
24. Your life: Evolving
25. Your mood: Stable
26. Your best friend: Christ
27. What you're thinking about right now: Leaving work early
28. Your car: ML 320
29. What you are doing at the moment: Typing
30. Your summer: In Lagos.
31. Your relationship status: single
32. What is on your TV: Dunno
33. What is the weather like: Bright and breezy
34. When was the last time you laughed: Last night on the phone?

My vices

I have a lot of vices and my good sides too, I am a work in progress but just know I am not going to let go of most of my bad sides, what can I say I'm human like everyone else.

Here it goes:

1) I am a label whore, I collect designer accesories like my life depends on it, I can afford it I guess but the few times I haven't been able to, believe me I have cried.

2) I struggle to forgive, it might take me a while to forget but I hardly forgive.

3) I smoke under a lot of pressure, I am smoking now and I kind of need a nicotine and caffeine mix to deal with the weight on my shoulder now and then.

4) I am not the nicest person when I wake up in the mornings, not a morning person at all.

5) I find it nauseating for anyone around me, anyone at all to pick their teeth or make sounds of any kind either nasal or from their throat.

6) I hate lies and being lied to,it dimnishes integrity for the liar and if I can' trust you, I can't be around you.

7) I hate an untidy environment and a dirty living space, if I could afford a help to just come in and clean everything in my house every second I would, but since I can't, I am forced to clean every minute.

8) I hate doing dishes, hate, hate it. I have to now cause I don't have a dishwashing machine, but as soon as I get this Balenciaga bag I've been saving for, I am off to home depot to get this GE beauty I saw online.

9) I will not get off the phone if the conversation is good, that is hard to come by these days but I will talk for days with anyone who grabs my intellect.

10) Last night but not the least, I don't get men. I have tried in my short experience to understand them and just when I think I have a hang of it, they go and do some silly ish and then I am back to square one.

Growing up in Nigeria

I grew up in a rather large family. A lot of kids,and more than enough extended family shared our space. For most of my life, I thought most of them were blood relatives. But come to find out they were either related from momsie's side or just the kid of someone who died or a family going through a hard time.My mum is one of those people who will deny herself anything to help people, she's been burnt numerous times and you'll think she has learnt her lesson.

We cooked in huge pots, everyday was like a party, we were all regarded the same, no special treatment of any kind for anyone especially the biological kids. My father was the almighty disciplinarian, he towered over you and had a voice like James earl Jones. I love my parents for the heart they gave us, the heart of acceptance, knowing that you are not self sustained, living for the next meal or handout. They showed us the need to work hard and be your own person.

My family house in Lagos is an empty place now, I was there on my last trip to Nigeria and it brought back a lot of memories, everyone has since moved on, gotten married, relocated abroad, died or just emancipated. Family life is a beautiful thing.

Atlast I am here, where I wanna be.

I just want to say I am grateful for a lot of things, mindful of the person I am,yet determined to have a good existence. Has anyone ever regarded themselves as tainted? I have, so many times.

I have beat myself up for the numerous things that has gone right or wrong in my life. I am an achiever and pride myself in working extremely hard for everything I have and own.

Has it always been easy, No! But this journey has been well worth it.

I have matured as an individual and have gained insight into my person. Growth wasn't always easy, but who's to lay claim to what to the future holds.

We are all visitors on this place called earth, we'll all leave one day, but what legacy did you leave for posterity to judge you, what will be said about you to generations to come.. pray please tell.

Just my 2 cents

I really had put off blogging for a while. I wanted to but for various reasons never got up to it. A few events in my life have got me needing to have a sounding board so here I am.
I love to write, really do. I prefer to put my thots on paper hence my communications major.
As it goes, I intend to just let it out, anyhow pour out my soul.....