Why do women lie!

Oh boy, can I relate to this one! lol!!!

Believe me! some chicks are sheisty enough to lie about anything even the time of day and the color of their eyes lol!!!!

Women lie about everything, name it. Their name, virginity, age, number of men they've been with, hygiene,first time they had sex, if they've had an abortion, their real hair, religion, accent, education,phone number,address, when the sun sets..please feel free to add your own bit because this list is exhaustive.

I tend to believe the reason for most of these lies are circumstantial, Note the pointers below is only in the instance you are feeling homeboy and he needs your stats....Does it mean you need to lie, not necessarily but hey, to each his own.

How would you quantify your affection for a man if he wants to believe you're somebody else. hmm let's see, Best thing to do is tell him what he wants to hear:

• if he desires a younger woman, by all means necessary shave off 10 years off your real age, who's to tell these days with night cream and wrinkle reducer guaranteed to give that baby skin feel.
  


• if he likes perky breasts flip a u turn to Victoria secret, get some angels to lift and seperate your drooling assets.
  


• if he wants a religous chick, please believe there are places that will ordain you a deaconess in 24 hours.
  


• if he likes a woman who can cook, sneak in a bowl of soup from the nearest African restuarant or your mum's kitchen. Hopefully you can make eba for his viewing pleasure.(please tell me you can atleast make eba, boil some water,pour in a bowl and spray garri on it till it solidifies). You do know what Garri is???
  


• if he's a mummy's boy (as most men are), if you have to pretend do it! love that woman like your life depends on it.Take all her BS and worse case scenario incase of a confrontations tell her you aint going nowhere, she might as well get used to you. Luckily she doesn't live with you and will never live with you.
  


• if he's big on morals and has a phobia for freaks, can't help you there. That has to be one in million. Most guys will take a lady by day and a freak at night.
  


• He likes lighter eyes and long hair, my specialty!. Try the pure hazel contact lens, they have them in disposables, if you do your homework well, he might never know your real eye color and yeah! it's the era of natural weaves.
  

• Does he want a woman who speaks proper english, throw a "Britiko" accent on his a$$! even if you were born in Brooklyn or Aba.Talk all proper and "ish", wrap every word around your tongue. Works everytime.
  


• If he wants to know how many men you've been with, get all emotional and play the cute kitten batty eyed bitch on him. Tell him you've been with just two (even if you went through a whole dorm of guys in college) and since three is a charm, you're sure he's real special.

I am not justifying irresponsible behavior but if the shoe fits, wear it with panty hose and stocking or whichever applies. Men have been doing it for years, why can't we partake of the foolwangy. Women will continue to do what they have to do to get at a man, including all of the above and men will be men and girls will be girls...... c'est la vie.

But in all honesty, why did it become a norm to instigate falseness to prove yourself, why do we owe the next person an explanation as to how we are and what we are. Yeah life throws a curve ball once in a while but it should never warrant duplicating an entirely different individual just to get a man's approval. Now if he' s rocking your world in the sack (chop knuckle for getting some and getting it good)! lie all you want babes, I ain't mad at you!!!!

Why do men lie?

Why men lie!!



Men lie for various reasons! Of Importance is that it could be out of necessity, or in most cases lack of anything sensible or true to say.


I'm not going to justify anyone's frivolities but I will base my argument on actual events and facts.



A man will lie about size, it could be his shoe size, height, penis size, how long he can last in bed, the last time he had sex, how many women he's been with, if he's married or has a girlfriend. They mysteriously develop selective amnesia. it's like looking to find out what happend in Vegas!! You go wait long......





Let's start from the beginning,At the point of introduction, that gentleman will do anything humanly possible to make you happy, especially if you ain't "give it up yet. Massage your feet, pick up your laundry, designated driver. He'll even whip out his cards at mall and like a pimp tell you "go on baby! It's all bout you, pick anything you want".
Cross that border and homeboy starts forgetting his wallet at home or in his car.



Even when you do give it up, he goes on and on about how he can keep it up for days. How he got a 16 inch tool to work with. Fast forward action time, homeboy gets in and like a one way bus pass, gets right out.


You're like WTF!! Are you serious, he'll be like baby, "I'm sorry, I was too excited. It's just that you're so beautiful, your skin is like silk"


You think, well if you put it like that, I guess I believe you.Next time he lasts all of 2 minutes, ladies, this is when you should count your losses and lose home boy!



Men lie about their feelings everytime, initially they are so into you, they call, text, come around, buy flowers and expensive gifts. How do you define why he suddenly stops being expressive. How do you define making you look simple, when he stops returning calls and constantly lies about where he is and his state of mind. In all honesty he might not want to hurt your feelings. Feck the honesty, tell it straight, I'm a big girl, I'll take the fact that you found someone else or just mysteriously lost the same number you used to call 5 times a day.



Men will lie about moving on, he might have found someone else, you might be dealing with all sorts of challenges in the relationship, you can thaw it out with him and hope his mood swings stop, but when you decide to get to stepping, he wants to come back cos he aint found anyone like you.

Why do they do that? why would you hold on to something you are not sure of and then choose to return it at your convinience, this is not a store with flexible return policies. These are human emotions and feelings.

I had a conversation with a certain guy "around town" from my unilag days a few days ago. He claims women get into a laision with all these expectations. According to him, the fact that we slept together does not necesarily spell "love and marriage". Well how about a rain check next time and a warning that you're a walking time bomb, that has a phobia for commitment.

It is said that Sex is the easiest thing to get on the streets,how about a commitment? how about the beauty of saving yourself for the one true love of your life, assuming he thinks same of you. How about telling it like it is? How about falling in love for all the genuine reasons. When a woman meets a man,if it all comes together, she falls in love hopelessly. When a man meets a woman and it all comes together, I just wonder.....

An ode to single parenthood.

Having read numerous articles by individuals who ignorantly express their opinions on of single parenthood, I would like to address some of these issues.

I am a single mother who made this choice not as a desire to get married, far from it, but for the sole reason that at that point in my life (having miraculously survived the terrorist attacks on the world trade center on 9/11) I could not bear to play games with life.Being a mother has been a joy but as an African, it has been an experience and I must say not a delightful one at times.

Certain analogy just goes to show the extent to which black people can be classist and egregious. As much as I want to live life as if I want an encore, I also want to satisfy my conscience. Since I could not bring myself to please my family and peer, I am the proud mother of a little boy.

He is such an adorable and lovable individual; I totally admire my son and think he has had another lifetime here. Nevertheless, importantly he has blessed my life in ways I could never imagine. My life is so much fuller, my dreams fulfilled. It’s like everything I touch turns to gold. My career has not only flourished but I have been able to imbibe my son’s innocence into my daily productivity and processing.

Now to the culture and traditions I was raised in, it is forbidden in Ibo land to have a child outside wedlock, especially in a family woven in Catholicism. You become a tokunbo, ostracized, tired and worn. I have met men who looked down on me and judged me once I tell them I have a child.

I know and have read about women who without meeting or knowing me assume I got pregnant to trap the baby's father into marriage.Far from it, marriage was not even an option as this pregnancy was not planned, and this relationship ended before the stick turned blue on the home test kit from Duane Reade.

I will take responsibility for my actions as an adult but while I am not an advocate of anything immoral, contraception does fail once in a while and even though we used protection and it failed, I look at my child everyday and agree he was meant to be here.

“It is what it is”, there are decisions we make in life. Emotional, psychological and spiritual, you let the tide of time sweep you up for posterity to judge.It is also important to note that people become single parents for various reasons either, by choice, widowed, divorced, spousal separation, immigration and incarceration. Yet in all these choices, the support system in the Diaspora though lacking becomes highly appreciated.

I hope for a good life for my child, and me if I am destined to do this again (bear children) I want to do it the right way, not that I regret my decision now as I am very blessed. I just know that the God ordained way for a family to function is to have two parents in a family structure raise children who will in turn pass these values to another generation.

Our orientation as Africans is that of holding the institution of marriage in very high esteem, regardless of how decadent our marriages are according due to recent polls. Nevertheless, there are beautiful people out there who deserve to know and love a child regardless of biological affiliations.

Civilization is moving at a supersonic speed and people from the western world pay tens of thousands of dollars and go to any length overseas to adopt children. However, a typical African man will rather marry a barren woman than be with a single mother because of the stigma and their ancient belief system.

I have seen relationships that have grown in leaps and bounds because of a level of maturity that these individuals manifest. To matter, raise God-fearing children, and grow old together until God calls them home.

For everything, I have been through in my very young life, for all the diplomas acquired and still to acquire, nothing compares to the joy of motherhood. I enjoy looking at my son and even though I will opt to share this experience with a partner because no drug will make me high enough to ever believe I can ever do this (parenting) alone, I am very happy and satisfied with my conscience.An ideal family should have a man and a woman in mutual understanding of each other's responsibilities.

Living in America and understanding this society's acceptance of a single parent family leaves me in awe of if this can ever happen in Nigeria. This is because of the evil meted out on widows by the late husband's family even if the man died of HIV/AIDS he contacted from a prostitute.

Life is hard enough; the only legacy we can leave for our children in this lifetime is the experiences we hold before the sunsets on our lives. I want to be remembered for the person my son becomes tomorrow, I owe him a good life because he is a choice I made and he deserves the love of everyone around me.

BFF

GIRLS IN MY CIRCLE

When I was little, I used to believe in the concept of one best friend, and then I started to become a woman.

And then I found out that if you allow your heart to open up, God would show you the best in many friends.

One friend is needed when you're going through things with your man.

Another friend is needed when you're going through things with your mom.

Another will sit beside you in the bleachers as you delight in your children and their activities.

Another when you want to shop, share, heal, hurt, joke, or just be.

One friend will say,'Let's cry together,' another, 'Let's fight together,' another, 'Let's walk away together.'

One friend will meet your spiritual need, another your shoe fetish, another your love for movies, another will be with you in your season of confusion, another will be your clarifier, another the wind beneath your wings.

But whatever their assignment in your life, on whatever the occasion, on whatever the day, or wherever you need them to meet you with their gym shoes on and hair pulled back, or to hold you back from making a complete fool of yourself... those are your best friends.

It may all be wrapped up in one woman, but for many, it's wrapped up in several..

one from 7th grade,

one from high school,

several from the college years,

a couple from old jobs,

on some days your mother,

on some days your neighbor,

on others, your sisters,

and on some days, your daughters.

So whether they've been your friend for 20 minutes or 20years,

Let us celebrate the women in our lives..

Sex and Sexuality!

How do you define your sex?

In this day and age, it's more likely how much of it you're getting, if you're getting any or how good it is or was.

Sex is a beautiful thing and since we are all adults, permit me to dive into this delicate yet sensual matter.

Let's talk about sex!

How do you decide, if sex will play an important role in any man/ woman liasion you get into?.

Guys let me just say at this junction, that a chick knows if she's going to shag you, either now or in the near future, after spending all of 5 seconds in your company.

we have that extra sensor, we smell shaggable guys with a radar embedded somewhere in our consciousness.

Then, the million dollar question becomes, what is the next level, wetin dey..?

You've made up your mind to go with dude, he aight!! Good looking, caramel color, hazel, brown or reddish eyes depends on how much he puffs.

Six packs or a little chubby, maybe even scrawny or tiny, hey it's your choice. Tall, short, medium, dwarfish your call.To each his own, this heart is not that smart.

He might be packing in all the right places though, (pepper and down below) and be all of 3 ft 2 inches.

He might be 93 yrs old on life support. Classic case, Anna Nicole of blessed memory. In this instance, unless you are willing to send old boy to his grave that minute and cash your cheques. Don't do it!

A lot of times, the reasons we do a lot of things in life starts to get really confusing. If your intention is to get with a guy to get something, anything at all. Permit me to ask what if that exchange doesn't happen.

Well you get to have sex, possibly a "menage a tois" as is the case these days.

I digress,People!, we have become extremely sexual and adventurous in Nigeria. I was at a club on awolowo road a few weeks ago, oh boy!

These girls turned an architectural piece in the VIP area into a stripper pole. To the viewing pleasure of drooling guys gathered in the area, come and see show

I watched oh, I got a little worried when two of the girls started kissing and touching themselves. Believe me, this place is not a stripper joint, atleast that is not what the sign said outside.

See guys salivating, one particular girl who in my calculation couldn't be more than 22 was especially good. Chick had moves that'll put porn stars to shame! She backed that thing up, dropped it like it's hot and wobbled.

I don't swing that way for no reason at all, strictly dickly here, but that girl had me wandering hmmm! Maybe, just maybe....

I'm back, please pardon my wandering mind, but my thing is this! When there's a banter over sex, when it's exchanged for goods and services then in every dictionary and even contemporary wikipedia, it is defined as prostitution, in other not so plain english- pololo, shalamunta, ashi (code for ashewo) runs associate, trick, ho,karuwa, akwuna..I can go on and on.

This is an age old trade and it is very legal in most countries of the world. Prostitutes pay tax in european countries and even in God's own country, well to an extent.

We can't hold on to trivialities now and this is not a place for name calling, I'm just saying it like it is.

I myself have done some things in my past I'm very ashamed of.

I didn't have to stand by the roadside, but I have gotten in liasions in the past just thinking about me, not necessarily considering the other party's feelings.

I wanted something and as soon as I got it, I was out the door, thereby hurting a lot of folks and myself, but reality bit me in the a$$ recently and I started reminiscing about "ish".

Women get to that age, it could at15 for some or 60 for others. You get to that crossroad and start to question yourself, have I misplaced my priorities in matters of the heart and sex?

What was the primary purpose for me, was it an exchange "programme"or was I sampling for the fun?.

Relationships are consumated for various purposes, either out of curiosity or because there are genuine feelings and a connection. For whatever purpose we have sex, be it as a married couple,or in a serious relationship (I do not use that word 'serious' loosely) Aids is real!

Let us define the purpose carefully, we live in an age that diseases and death makes sex almost unpleasurable. Let's keep it safe and beautiful.

If I ever do it again... ....I'll fill in the blanks later.

Remorsefully yours,

2 cents

Are women their "own" worst enemy?

I saw this question on Ijeoma's blog,I really want to tackle this one....

From time immemorial, this question has plaqued women. For various reasons we have fought for the identity we deserve. By the way, we are also expected to completely shut down our opinion of each other,more for security reasons cause most of the time it's very unsavory.

Why can't we say sumthin 'bout that muffin round sista who shouldn't be in a tank top but she is?
Or better still,Why can't you confront that heifer who's shamelessly flirting with your man in the club,specially since she knows you're there together?.

The truth is we are quick tempered and judgemental. We are also very egregious. Don't hiss yet. But there are a lot of subtle issues that come to mind with this question and I will try my best to answer most of them.

Once again,Why are we each other's worst enemies? Good question!

* You don't have to befriend every woman you come across, same reason you can't do a lot of things in life, they are either forbidden or just wrong.

* In the workplace for instance, that woman of the same ethnicity will be first to rat you out in the event you step out of line, easy! she wants what's yours.

Classic example, I took a job once because there were a lot black women there, big mistake!
I was reprimanded for things I did or didn't do.My boss,who unfortunately is an older African American woman, thought I dressed "too provocatively" to be taken serious in the type of business we did, BS!. I left that job, ( best believe, any day I run into that old witch, it's on!).

The moral here is that I thought I was secure within my own people, now I know better.

* Women try to displace each other, our competitive side wants that edge over the next female. For one, if they catch the eye of a good looking man, who for any reason reciprocates that glance, she finds out he's seeing someone else ( well most importantly if he's straight).Some chicks will shake dude down, till he rescinds his former flame and shags that female or wifes her.
I have even seen females try really hard I might add, to straighten very gay guys. So not worth it!

* Word of advice, if he's married or with another woman, please get to stepping, being a jump off at any age is just tacky.

* I've met a few women who think the whole universe revolves around them.( funny someone accused me of this, I beg to differ sha lol!). But on the real, some chicks are sheisty like that, you must conform to their level or all hell is let loose.Aside from their very low self esteem issues, you have to babysit them and if your loyalty is in question for a second at the most they flip, heifer please!!!

* Another set of females are the ones that think they are better than everyone else, classist and very set in their ways. Worse if they are born into money or married "old" money. The blue bloods I understand their "ako". But chicks who marry old money need not front, cause on the real, when they fall, it's usually flat on their face,without a forwarding address.

* On the political scene and in business, we play just as dirty as any man. The only difference here is we shag for very real reasons. Ladies don't play yourselves,! please get paid or secure that corner office before you give it up, these men are wiser now. They get theirs, you better get yours!.

* And yes, we fight over men! We really do, you might not be walking around with a razor, looking over your shoulders or stalking your boyfriend or ex- boyfriend's new flame. it might be more subtle. Ladies, most of us are guilty of this "ish". You know you've read his text messages, seen the pictures on his myspace account, checked his email, called his mama, called the new girl with a blocked number and drop the phone as soon as she picks up, or called his boys to beef.

Per adventure, you meet the "new" girl in the club, mall or a house party. You have the usual look over. Check her out, see what she's working with. if it ain't much, sigh! yawn, hiss and high five your girls.

But if the new chick comes in the club tight! OH HELL NO! You get all sweaty and break out in hives, remember all the terrible things dude did to you. Start to cuss and even cry. Woe betides this chick, if tight as she is, steps to you and spews ish!

Conversation could go something like this:

New chick: Hi, I know you!

You: I'm sure you do!

New chick: Just so you know, Eric has only good things to say about you..

You: Oh really! ( But you're really thinking, this b**tch has exactly 3 seconds to get outta my face, or I'm b**ch slapping her into christmas)

New chick: Nice dress by the way, are you having fun??

"No she didn't" ! Yes she did!!!

You: At this junction,it depends on how much of a hoodrat you are, typically, she should be getting her weave pulled out and her face scratched. But, if there's any element of class in you,this is when you bid her good night, count your losses and go home to a tub of Ice cream and your remote controlled T.V or whatever gadget consoles you.

It is what it is girls! We are what we are, but we can let go of a lot of vices when it has to do with our fellow women.No one is perfect and we are all a work in progress. That chick you're beefing with for any reason could turn around to become an important fixture in your life. Or atleast let's beef reasonably,no face scratching please...Plastic surgery does not fix everything, let's keep it sexyyyy aight!!



As always,

My 2 cents...

This blogging sef!

I know it's a little too early to throw in the towel or b**ch about blogging since I just got here, but do I even have any reasons to complain?.

It's been a few weeks and I am already a self proclaimed blog whore. I am hitting up blogs, leaving comments and ish!, replying and even seeking out blogs that doesn't exist. This is not a fad for me, it's serious business.

A few people I know will swear that it can't be me. where does she find the time?.How do you combine a full time job, responsibilities at home, building your own business and now blogging!!!!

Hello! I multitask, I have to. If you live in a crazy city like I do, you need triathlette abilities and therapy of some sort to survive. I have seen a shrink before, thanks to insurance hard earned cash gone to waste. I tell you what is therapeutic, BLOGGING!

My alter ego 2 cents is very prudish, she's in your face, calm and calculative, she's giving advise and admonishing, well that's not me!

That person is not me at all! I'm not that together or calculated, I don't care for people's opinion. I have my eyes on the ish and I gets it!( Let me borrow from my beloved chicken heads).

With a health condition, my parents wanted me to go to boarding house near them, well I emancipated myself at a very young age and went ahead to one very far from them, trying to prove, I could tough it out all by my damn self. That was one of the best decisions I ever made. It changed my entire life and outlook!!

I digress but I'm back, my point is that I happened on a blog while whiling away time on a really boring conference call, read a few more links, finished that call and read some more and by that evening I was hooked. This was months ago, even then I figured, just read and move on and then something really personal prompted a change in my pace.

I needed a sounding board, really do right now in my life. So one day, I sat there at work and looked at myself, I didn't like what I had become. I had started smoking again and had become really edgy, the few times my life had taken those turns, I didn't like myself at all. Had to take matters in my own hands. So, I got on that laptop and "found" myself.

I'm typing away like my life depends on it, I felt a sense of relief, at work I'm putting clients on hold to blog, I get home and instead of getting a meal, I get to blogging..

I read some blogs and become introspective, I read some and shed a tear. I read fineboy's blog and laugh so hard I have to catch myself, that boy is a trip!. I learn from blogging, I catch my mistakes and check myself. I have even made some blog pals in this few weeks too lol!.

Will I throw in the towel now? Naaahhh! Don't intend to, I've always loved to write, it might not necessarily entertain but as long as I get the reader interested in my point of view. That's aight! I am not about games with this thing, I am about a movement of the consciousness of the soul.

If my argument interests you, please by all means say something, encourage me, drop a comment or just send a shoutout to your baby mama or your homeboy. They might just be here checking out my blog..