I decided to become celibate for various reasons, the most important was for the purification of my mind, and a search for the deeper understanding of my person in or out of a relationship.
it was very hard initially, but I have a hang of it now. Don't get me wrong, I'm one of those chicks that will turn a dude out! I want to be thrown at the ceiling or through a roof! You get the picture?? Get a guy wanting to drop a 7 carat ring, cry home to his momma, drive by my crib with his lights cut out kind of loving.
Well that was back then, it's good and all for a relationship but it doesn't guarantee a soul mate. it does not give quality to matters of the heart. You get to a point in your life, you want more! That piece of mind that comes from LOYALTY to each other. You want to know that the little things that matter to you from the bills to a gray hair, bothers him as much as it does you.
You want to stay up and TALK about everything from politics, work, family, friends and even the future. You want to LAUGH at each other's stupid jokes and the smallest things but most importantly you want to LOVE and RESPECT each other.
You want a relationship that is not heavy on nonentities, and you are SECURE in each other's presence and absence. No one is guranteed the next day or one more minute but I want to be guaranteed a smile or a hearty laughter anytime I speak or hear from him. I want a RELATIONSHIP that is based on the LOVE OF GOD and the GENUINE search of the knowledge of him.
I want a walk by the beach, gazing at the star and letting our eyes do the talking. I want his eyes to yearn for me completely, I want a soul that WANTS me. A man who is not afraid to cry infront of me, one who will cradle me and wipe my tears for those days I decide to reminisce about life and unfulfilled dreams.
A renaissance man, who is complete mentally and psychologically. One who is secure enough to make a run to duane reade to pick up my toiletries or spend the day with me at Gucci trying on shoes and accesories.
I want some one who is accepting of those days that I'm hormonal and bloated enough to curse him out and bounce...come back minutes later with a tub of butter pecan ice cream like nothing happened. A man who will take me as I am and not worry about being treated like a KING in front of his peers. A man amongst men who when we do decide to do it, will make love to me wholly, completely, not necessarily gently ( need a thug to take out the cobwebs in one shot), a coming together that will climax in thunderous resonance of all we've been waiting and anticpating for.....
19 comments:
WOW, YOU WRITE SO DEEPLY. I AM INSPIRED. CELIBACY IS A HARD THING BUT IT IS A VERY GOOD THING. I HAVE STAYED WITHOUT SEX FOR MONTHS AND YEARS BUT NEVER HADA STRUCTURED DECISION TO DO SO, I EITHER JUST WASN'T DATING, IN A LONG DIATANCE RELATIONSHIP OR JUST FOUND MYSELF NOT LOOKING FOR SOMEONE TO HAVE SEX WITH. I SPEND MORE TIME ALONE IN MY LIFE IT IS AWESOME IN TERMS OF REFLECTING ON WHAT I WANT FOR MYSELF AND WHAT I WANT IN A MAN. AWESOME POST
hmmmmm
i like the reasoning behind your decision.
the need to find someone you connect with intimately before the sex
hmmmmmm
good luck girl
i wish you all the best
Wow, what a post. I admire your courage and outstanding positive perpective. Hopefully, that man may be around sooner than later.
Cheers!
WOW......This hit home for me. Wow....I am going to link this on my page...Amazing....
You said what I was trying to say in this post :
http://taureanminx.blogspot.com/2007/04/words-from-mind-and-heart.html
but in a much better way :).
Great writeup...i like this....i truly do...I admire ur stance and ur resilience....You go girl!..
Lol @ "need a thug to take out the cobwebs in one shot"...girl, dont we all!
beautiful and true piece.
May the soulmate meant for you find you and may you both find peaceful love that will keep you through the ages.
Damn... ME TOO! Is that too much to freaking ask for?!! sigh.
I want true love's very essence. :s
All,
Celibacy is a deep, spiritual agreement with your subconscious, to desist from sexual activities of any kind until there a connection of things ethereal between two consenting adults.
I wish I could have made this decision earlier. Now I understand what it means to have a clouded visin of your desires because you are consumed by passion.
I hope my quest leads me to the right place, I am happy and at peace with myself and I have also matured in all things.
I thank you all for reading and accepting my views as this write-up came from a very deep place.
Celibacy is a good thing but.... no comment.lol. Some people don't know why sex is a big deal, especially men. Men can have sex wt any woman without having any feeling or likeness towards their partner, but it's usually different for women. What complicates the matter more is this word 'Love'. Anyways, Good luck. May u find ur 'Mr Right' cos there's always that special 'someone' for everyone.
wow well written. just i have decided to head in the opposite direction in my life. its a very individual decision. I know some women who couldnt care less abt sex while others need sex. its has to be concious decision to wait for the right person.
great post
CELIBACY.. HMMMMMMMM.. I ADMIRE YOU SHA.. NICE POST
if i'm not mistaking, u left a comment on my 'i want a man' post abt bein careful abt wat i wish 4??
well hun i thnk compared 2 urs, mine's alot more realistic but hey! we all want what we want right??
wish u d best of luck with ur new decision...
@I'm a babe,
I meant to be carefiul what you wish for, because you wanted a few qualities in a fellow male blogger in a man. Well I know one in particular and my dear all that glitters is not gold.
My decision is not new, it is knocking on 4 years, I don't know what is not realistic in what I want but hey, you are also entitled to your opinion. Thanks for stopping by the way and I wish you the best of luck too.
phew! what a deep post...just as long as you are happy, because that's what counts! I wish you all the best of luck babes! You made a sound decision based on your conviction and that's what I really like...
wow!
i was just going to post my experience on this issue!!
i chose abstinence cos i found that sex complicates the dynamics of relationships.( plus, i decided i wanted to be able to count on one hand my # of partners)i also believe that meanigless sex chip away at a woman's essence. i'll tell u this much, it's an excellent way to weed out the players.(lol)
one dude assumed it meant i was a virgin,u should have seen his face when i clarified (real comical) another one asked if i wouldn't mind if he an got some from someplace else (rofl)needless to say it has been hilarious..
there have been challenges but, a definite liberating experience.
hmmm... its like a deep spiritual journey. almost brought me to tears (not sure why). i mean, who talks about celibacy these days? everyone wants to bump and grind. but the honesty of the piece makes it so nice, so contemporary, like celibacy is the sweetest thing.
great piece!
@Sherri,
Liberating is the word! I am able to filter my friends (male) of course with this experience. I also better understand the intricacies of a relationship now.
@Isi,
I thank you so much for the kind words. I am humbled.
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